1. The Pam Guy really is George.
2. When you hear "Georgia" at St. Vlads it's the country, not the state.
3. Always bring 8 rolls of film.
4. Never use an entire roll of film on food pictures.
5. You can't lasso people to go to the playground.
6. Dinner photos are not appropriate.
7. "Organ" is a state.
8. "Coffee" does not have a W.
9. Butter (pronounced "Buttah")
10. Fr. Tom's mother is the Tomotokos.
11. If you can't sell newspapers or drive taxis, you become a theologian.
12. Bailey is not just a liquor; he is not God nor immortal.
13. Never have a conversation with the windows open.
14. Cee-ment is very Oklahoman.
15. Sex is (not) optional.
16. Parishioners are aliens.
17. Jenny is not Jesus.
18. Praise Cheezits!
19. The rules are never obeyed.
20. Proclaiming that you're in awe of someone may be hazardous to many people's health.
21. Be prepared - never let your guard down (Jenny's pics)
22. No matter what you think or say, "It'll be fun!"
23. Ice cream brings out the dirtiest in you.
24. The girl's apartment is quite an emotional place.
25. "And so Isaiah lifted the thong..."
26. "Jo's not on crack, she's on Bailey."
27. Sorbet is snotty sherbert.
28. Sometimes a little schmaltz doesn't hurt.
29. Bulldozers are exciting.
30. It's not your table or a potluck supper.
31. Doritos are artificial.
32. You don't know the Bible until you know Hebrew or Greek.
33. Hash browns are very engrossing.
34. Getting "mugged" is really scary.
35. Never look at people from NY in the eye.
36. Fr. Tarazi is a muppet.
37. Don't eat the prosphora when you're being ordained.
38. Four women should never share one bathroom.
39. We all eat from the same humus bowl.
40. Prof. Drillock is really Dennis the Menace in hiding from Mr. Wilson.
41. Sharing a bathroom with past seminarians leads to a lot of facial hair on the sink.
42. It's amazing how many soups can be made from the same ingredient.
43. Sidewalk pictures never last.
44. Fabulous can be applied to anything.
45. Orthodox fast during Great Lint.
46. Arabic people don't eat peas because of Henry the Eighth.
47. "Nazis" are all over playgrounds, church, pretzels, humus, choir, etc.
48. The Met. looks funny with bunny ears.
49. You need a professional cook to make chocolate cookies.
50. Never put Häagen Daas across the street from Starbucks.
51. If Matel® would make Metropolitan Barbie Dolls, they would be best sellers.
52. Deans and clergy deserve their own swings.
53. Everyone needs pocket priests to remind them to pray.
54. Subways are the only form of transportation that need subtitles.
55. Who drives subways?
56. Begging doesn't equal flirtation... or does it?
57. Khaki Cargo Cassocks by the GAP.
58. "Did I tell you the cook here is great?"
